Tuesday, April 21, 2009

lar de dar de da a little bit about me

The genial Blair sycophant George Foulkes - Baron Foulkes of Cumnock since Tony elected him a life peer and now one of the henchmen trying to treat Labour's Scottish schizophrenia - was a most promising shadow cabinet minister until he came to suffer "a nasty fall on the slopes of Glenfiddich in July 1993".

At a party held by the Scotch Whisky Association, the defence spokesman at the time, also a magistrate, drank adequately from the fountain of the water of life. One witness described Foulkes's subsequent behaviour as "like Zebedee on acid". The MP trundled back to the Commons for a crunch vote.

Unfortunately, the pavements of Westminster dipped and rose like the deck of a clipper on a choppy sea, tossing him into the arms of pedestrians. An attempt to dance with a 70-year-old lady resulted in them both hugging the asphalt. Foulkes biffed one persistently helpful constable on the chin.

He was arrested and invited to spend the night enjoying Her Majesty's hospitality. He pleaded guilty to assault and being drunk and disorderly, and was fined £1,050. He vowed not to drink whisky again.
So I am delighted to hear of an invitation doing the rounds. In his capacity as president of the Caribbean-Britain Business Council, Foulkes is hosting a party at the House of Lords on 13 March: a "rum punch reception". A Caribbean holiday for two shall be raffled and guests hope Foulkes will lead the calypso. (He is, of course, bringing the punch.) Boing!

Lar de dar de da thats all for now Foulkes.

13 comments:

  1. Now who is this??? I'm hopeless at guessing but I think you'll get lots of followers :)

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  2. Subrosa good question, when i came back today i saw this blog had latched onto mine so i have now put it on my blog updates, lol i like this blog, i do i do...

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  3. Maybe if MPs were better paid, he wouldn't have felt the need to drown his sorrows. Did you ever think of that?

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  4. Rum is a good choice Baron as it's clear anything originating in Scotland doesn't agree with you.

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  5. I'm still gonna vote for him even if he retires or dies......because he is simply the best.........

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  6. Niko you sound like Tina Turner in drag, get it simply the best, Tina ?? lol

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  7. Excellent! As a unionist I welcome others of a similar bent and horizontal inclinations. I get the feeling that you and I have met before?

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  8. This blog will be interesting hopefully.

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  9. I was asked to use a word verification before my comment was accepted, never seen that before.

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  10. I don't understand the fuss about a member of the aristocracy spending a night at Her Majesty's pleasure... I thought that that was normal practice.

    I always wondered who it was that voted for the likes of the Noble and Rt Hon (LOL) Baron, but now we know... It's our very own Niko what does it.....

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  11. Its to stop spam postings Alan, i used to have it on my blog but removed it when Alex Salmond said it was an irritation when leaving a comment.

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  12. A charming insight into the social niceties and rules of etiquette that lead one to that august, gracious and noble House of Peers, where so much more hard work of a similar nature is done on a daily basis in between well earned snoozes on the red beds provided. The Baron Cumnock can now tweet away to his hearts content secure in the knowledge of five minutes well spent and with pockets stuffed with glowing £50 notes, a token of appreciation from those friends of the planet at BNFL. Off back past his home from home in sunny Shropshire to his adopted home in North Britain to ask that vile First Minister what colour of underpants he has on and did he come to Holyrood on a satire space hopper.

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